


Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

by heyitsbabz



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Everyone lives, Fluff, Hamilton inspired, Josh comforts Tyler, M/M, bros being dudes, i guess, im trash, its just a title, no one dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 13:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9273620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsbabz/pseuds/heyitsbabz
Summary: "I'm scared.""Scared of what?""Losing control."





	

**Author's Note:**

> when you get emo listening to hamilton so you start writing sappy things... oops?
> 
> to be honest, I don't know what the hell I was going for with this, but I dig it. a bit. maybe.
> 
> I'll probably end up deleting it. double oops?
> 
> anyway, hope you like it, bye!

After every show, the adrenaline Tyler and Josh feel is unmatchable. It's the fact that all these people have found some sort of salvation for the night and the two boys know they put on the best show they could for them. That’s why they do this; to help the kids, to be there for them for a night and tell them _it’s okay_ without actually saying it.

But there are some nights when Tyler overthinks. He overthinks and he drowns in those thoughts, his mind attacking all his actions subconsciously because he messed up and because of it, his and Josh's performance wasn't memorable.

He’s sitting at the back of the bus by himself, the couch way too lonely for just one person to be sitting on it. He lifts his knee to his chest, wrapping his arm around it and leaning his chin against it, trying to get comfortable. A frown rests on his lips and the thought _am I enough?_ runs through his head repeatedly.

He doesn't know if what he’s done is good enough. These kids, they'll all move on someday. They'll forget about them and then what? Tyler finds _his_ salvation in performing for these people, he finds his purpose whenever he gets on stage and hears all those hundreds of thousands of people shouting his lyrics back at him. What would he do if he loses that?

He knows that he and Josh have made it in the industry now. He knows that because of the excessive times he hears his songs on the radio and how many views his music videos get and he knows his real fans had gotten tired of it. The constant rush of non-fans singing songs for the sake of it while the real fans tried not to burst that the songs had a deeper meaning behind them.

It’s ridiculous how far they've come.

And yet if he dies, God forbid, what would people say about him? Who would tell his story to people? Who will keep his legacy, his band’s music, alive when he’s not around to do so?

Would he be forever known as the guy with the neck tattoo? Or the guy who helped someone find themselves? Or just a name forgotten in history as time passes?

Is that _enough?_ No, Tyler wouldn't be satisfied with that outcome. He needs to be better, he needs to try harder. 

He feels like an Icarus; a tragedy waiting to happen. See, Icarus' father made them wings made out of wax and feathers to escape the labyrinth and although Icarus was warned not to fly too close to the sun because his wings would melt, he gave in to the temptation and his giddiness and fell to his death. Tyler relates, he feels that because they have it all now, they'll lose it all somehow, having it fall away just like this specific part of Greek mythology.

Sometimes he wishes he knew how hard this would be before he started this entire thing instead of being a naive kid with hopes and dreams of making this his career; not that he didn't. He knew what he signed up for, but the pressure ate at him like a fucking starving animal and he can't take it, he didn't expect _this_. 

He sees Josh sit next to him out of the corner of his eye, the couch dipping at the added weight and Tyler breathes deeply. He didn't want to be alone, not tonight, but as the silence lapsed between the two of them, Tyler felt more compelled to tell him his thoughts.

“I’m scared.” He tells Josh, his voice wavering as he fights the urge he feels to crawl into Josh’s lap and let him hold him.

Josh is the only person who'd understand a semblance of his struggles. He's never held back from telling him his problems and without Josh he's sure he'd have gone insane or manic from how chaotic his life has become.

“Scared of what?” Josh asks quietly, not moving to touch him and Tyler is grateful.

“Losing control.”

“Of what?” Josh looks at him and Tyler smiles from where his head is resting despite himself.

“My life.” Tyler leans back and lets go of his knee. “I’m scared of losing control of my life and what we have somehow or… or I guess just becoming nobodies again because we’re not good enough for our fans.”

“Tyler, none of those things will happen.” Josh assures him vehemently and Tyler forces himself to nod. He’s good at pretending he’ll be okay. Of course, Josh sees right through him. “Tyler. _Tyler_ , look at me.”

Tyler does.

“You're important. Maybe you and I won't be to our fans in a few years, which is stupid to think about but either way, you’ll always be important to me. To your family. Your friends. Jenna.” Josh starts listing people and Tyler feels his eyes well with tears.

After all they've overcome, the struggles of getting to where they are today, Tyler fills with hate towards himself for doubting them. He's helped so many people already; they were good, in fact they were good enough to be _Josh Dun’s_ favourite band. Who gets that privilege other than Tyler Joseph himself?

“What if it’s not enough? I don't want to die without doing something significant.” Tyler says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I could live another fifty years or die in a week and if I do nothing, _it won't be enough_. I want people to be proud of me and talk about how I was a good man.”

Josh laughs, so sincere and humbled that Tyler is startled into shock. Why is he laughing at him? No, he wouldn't laugh _at_ him, but… it's not funny. Tyler’s fears aren't funny.

Josh reaches for his hand, clasping it tightly in his own.

“You’re an idiot if you think you aren't a good man. Give yourself more credit,” Josh tells him affectionately. “You’ve changed my life in such an amazing way, Tyler. I would not be the man I am today if it weren't for you. And your words Ty, God. Don’t get me started. I try to understand them, there's so many words - lyrics - you've written that only _you_ will ever understand fully and I wish I could see how this all works in your head.”

“Your lyrics have changed so many lives, you help people save themselves when their lives get to low points because of the way you let yourself be vulnerable in your music. You show them they aren't alone.” Josh is passionate, squeezing Tyler’s hand tight as if to convince him. “If one day we’re only performing in front of one person, who cares? We’ll be together, changing that _one person’s_ life.”

Josh is right and Tyler’s chest warms as he squeezes Josh’s hand right back.

“We’ve got all the time in the world to continue making a difference. It’s you and me, pal,” Josh grins, eyes shining. “We’re in the best band ever and the amount of people who like us doesn't determine that.”

“You’re right,” Tyler laughs and it's wet and happy and _God_. He lunges forward and wraps his arms around Josh’s neck. “You’re right. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Tyler.” Josh says, face buried in his neck.

“We’ll keep our own flame alive together,” Tyler mumbles on and on, his sense of purpose flooding him and he feels light. 

Josh nods and Tyler sits back, grinning triumphantly.

“Can you say existential crisis?”

Josh bursts into a laugh, smacking Tyler in the shoulder in pure instinct. Tyler is so, so happy to have him in his life.

“Happens to all of us.”


End file.
